S -you seek a- DAY..

The Day that normally humans celebrate that I learned to not enjoy and endure like I'm suffocating, has finally come.

My birthday. ugh. I never enjoyed the sound of it.

I woke up at 5:00 in the morning, sky's still dark and the air is chilly. I love it that way. Dark, quiet, and cold. After I took a shower, I quickly dressed up and started walking to the highway. I awaited for a cab, then one by one I picked up my friends from their houses and we all went to eastwood for breakfast club.

After the enjoying the cold & breezy weather over breakfast & beer at eastwood, we took off and went to katipunan to play my favorite: rockband. For lunch we went to redbox, trinoma. Then we went bar hopping as the sun set.

As we were indulging ourselves in drunken revelry, everything went hazy.. and my eyesight dimmed.

Then I Awoke.

EXPECTATION.

I knew it. It's impossible to have this perfect.. dream at the day I dreaded. (or atleast I dreamt of how I spent my christmas season last year with my friends)

REALITY:

I spent the eve of the we-shall-not-mention day alone in my house, dark,stale,quiet, just the way I like it.. watching How I Met Your Mother. I took it as a symbolism (I wish) that I will live the next years of my life, as awesome as the characters in the show.

I was planning to spend the day hanging out my friends. But then again, it's a school day so none of them are available.

So my aunt took the initiative to take me out for dinner. Ofcourse, everything's set and all. But it's more of for my aunt, than for me. So I didn't enjoy myself really. Though I guess I have to be thankful for the fact they heard my plea of eating at an Italian resto.(my fave) So somehow my day has an upside.

Obviously, the date just went like a formality for the fam to get out and dine.
well you could guess my day mostly SUcks. you get the point.

So I just ended up running away. Ditched 'em and rode a cab to nowhere.

Well eventually, I ended up in somewhere. Treated myself with a drink, hangout and went music shopping. I enjoyed myself that way. Though I really wished I could've spent this supposedly special day with those I love.
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END of the most pathetic day I had in months.

Guess I wrote this out of spite.. I should have known better. IT'S LIFE.

Well, there's a lot to look forward to now. The next couple of days will be awesome.

Now, I'm making myself busy with organizing my music, looking for something new out there, and collaborating with some of my contacts in the local music industry.

I'm applying for an internship for this record label, so we'll see.

And as of the moment, I'm putting up a compilation album for the holiday season. (but that's our own little secret)

well.. what the world needs right now is sunshine and optimism. so that's what I'm trying out., for a change.. Cherio!

defying gravity..

Secrets.. we all have 'em.

We keep such secrets because we don't don't want to hurt people, we're too embarrassed to admit it, or we just simply want to due to the fact you're not that comfortable with that particular person.

Bet you're accustomed to the cliche' saying: "what you don't know, won't hurt you." True enough, but it only makes us itch to know what the secret is more..

These past couple of weeks I've been nagging on some pals to be more open, but in a very hypocritical turn. I myself have one too many things I never tell 'em.

So until quite recently, I've been trying to go out of my usual shell of self-centeredness and try to fluster myself with optimism. And slowly, I am telling 'em one by one things that I'm not actually proud nor comfortable to talk about.

All I wanted was for us to be good enough friends so that we can talk about stuff, you know. Even if it's ugly.. especially then.

So now I'm starting to defy the norm gravity of my abyss-like personality, just take that chance, and jump off the edge.

______________________________________________

To take a turn, off things..

I can say New Moon is.. AWE (wait for it) SOME. awesome.

For someone who read the books and watched Twilight, the second installment of the saga is pretty much loyal to the book. With just little changes made. So bravo on that account, and brava on the direction, quite better than the first one.

So having said the stuff above, it made watching the film quite predictable (of course) leaving only the curiosity factor. Which you wonder, how the film would be like (having read the books).

I think what I did last year with Twilight is better. I watched the film before reading the book. So that made me enjoy the film more without the disappointment. Then after reading the book, I watched it again. So thus filling me on the parts where I got clueless. I enjoyed the film nonetheless.

For those who haven't read the book, (or atleast the vast majority) their initial reaction to the film: "boring" coz they don't understand what's going on.

And one major downside with it all.. is the Jacob epidemic. Really, anywhere I turn they all go like "Jacob is this, Jacob is that".. They're all like a broken record out there. Annoying ring on the ear.

So anyway, the third installment: Eclipse.. Would be something we could all look forward to.

Along Came Bella..

A year ago, a friend of mine who raises and sells bunnies saw my enthusiasm for 'em so she gave me one for Christmas. A perfect white and fluffy little cutie.. and since exactly a year ago just like this year, the twilight vibe is really buzzing around. So I named her Bella. As if by fate, she fitted in the group just perfectly. She hopped around school, got along well with everyone and we all had a good time when she's around. Probably what I miss most about her: every morning when my alarm would fail to wake me up for class, (as if she actually knows my sched) every time that happens, she finds her way into my room & hops into my belly. And every sunday, when I would take her outside in the garden, let her pick out leaves she wants to eat & just hop around. Then one unfortunate day, she just passed away.. Bless her spirit.

( a moment of silence)


Speaking of Bella, as in Isabella Swan who is played by Kristen Stewart who I think is really awesome. Came out in public in a gala somewhere in europe (I think) looking like (see pic above) what critics says as a "Bizarre look" in a badly mix matched get-up. Which I think is really cool, she pulled it off.

~ catch the screening of New Moon on the 20th!

Wicked Wicca

Astrology never cease to amaze me.. How accurate it can get and all in predicting, more like describing how our day goes or how we feel or even our recent debacle in life.

It just gets to me, you know. How something you expect to be cryptic turns out to be something real. Quite amusing actually. Here's something recent, and so reeal:

""You aren't in the mood to talk about your feelings to just anyone today with the Moon joining authentic Saturn in your 12th House of Secrecy. But your need for privacy doesn't include your best friend or lover, for you crave a real emotional connection that can break through your current isolation. Keep in mind that the walls between you and others are created by mutual consent, so open your heart to include those with whom you want to share your life.""

Hating all these twist in my story.

Anyways, it's friday the 13th again.. According to recent studies, more accidents or misfortunes occur in this particular day. Experts says "it is so, because people thinks so." Meaning, it's just all about mind over matter.(obviously I'm not up for long discussions at the moment)

Charms, goodluck, badluck, karma.. the works. All of us have our own superstition.

LiFe..

If you haven't heard of this one before, I wanna put it this way.. I say life is like a train, it goes to places in a straight forward direction. But you only get one ticket for the ride. So the cliche' fact here is: you only get to have once chance in your life. Go figure..

Sidetrack. Speaking of trains, my favorite train station in the world ( so far) is Grand Central Station and when I get the chance to hang at new york in the really far far.. far away future, it would really be awesome to just catch the train there and I dunno go down to the last pit stop.

Now as I reach my sixteenth station(okay maybe a couple more than that), I had to switch trains. From a luxurious and futuristic ride to a rusty and foggy one. I know sometimes I get too enigmatic, so there came a time when I promised myself that I would tell my friends my struggles of late. And I keep hoping that time would come soon.

And now reality (more like life) is catching up to me. My aunt's calling on to me, maybe to get me an internship at the family business(real estate I think). Which for me sucks, coz the one thing I hate more than my laptop crashing is working with family. I really don't know how to put it in a more reasonable & convincing state, I just don't. Though I would make an exception if it would be in my uncle's law firm, which would be really awesome.

Before I go face all of it, I'm spending the last week of my sneaking-around-illegality carefree. I just wish I can go ride a train and runaway from all of it. Then again, I guess we just can't run from reality that long. Eventually everything we ran from, catches up to us.

dazeD..

The official track list of the soundtrack for New Moon has been released, and it is an absolutely doozy! This is quite possibly the soundtrack of the year.

Even those who thumb their nose up at the Twilight phenomenon are going to be checking this one out. Critical darlings Grizzly Bear, Radiohead legend Thom Yorke, rockers The Killers and Muse are just some of the treats awaiting the phenomenon of a soundtrack. Here’s the full list–

• 1. Death Cab For Cutie – “Meet Me On The Equinox”

• 2. Band Of Skulls – “Friends”

• 3. Thom Yorke – “Hearing Damage”

• 4. Lykke Li – “Possibility”

• 5. The Killers – “A White Demon Love Song”

• 6. Anya Marina – “Satellite Heart”

• 7. Muse – “I Belong To You (New Moon)”

• 8. Bon Iver and St. Vincent – “Roslyn”

• 9. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – “Done All Wrong”\

• 10. Hurricane Bells – “Monsters”

• 11. Sea Wolf – “The Violet Hour”

• 12. OK Go – “Shooting The Moon”

• 13. Grizzly Bear – “Slow Life”

• 14. Editors – “No Sound But The Wind”

• 15. Alexandre Desplat – “New Moon (The Meadow)”

Just like the first record, I've been really digging this one too. Listening to it non stop at the moment. To compliment the great music, been reading some great novels with it. Music and literature can be a really great combination if you know the right stuff.

A really awesome way to just get away, you know. Just blind out the white noise of life and jump to this whole new dimension.

empTy aparTmenT..

I remember the time when I'm always enthusiastic about redecorating my room. When I see a cool poster or picture to hang up, or thought of a new quote to engrave, or a new idea what to draw.. I always find the right spot in my room to place it.

But that was highschool. I always knew who I am and what I want back then.

At first I was pretty much like any normal guy who wouldn't care much for his room and never spent one minute longer inside other than to dress up. But one very boring day, I sat in my room.. and I had an epiphany: "I should make this room.. my room." So I ran to the hardware store, grabbed some paint and brushes.

Since then I always make it an agenda every month to redecorate.. Changed the furniture setting, Hung up new pictures, Draw some new stuff, and even change the paint job. By doing so, helps me remind myself who I am and how I live my life.

Now, as I attempt to redecorate. I removed all the furniture, sat in my bed and stare at the artistic emo walls. Inside that empty room, I have no idea what to do next. I couldn't even call it my room anymore. It became an apartment, an empty apartment.. For the past months that's what it has been.

I have lost sight of who I am and what I wanted.

Brush in hand, I strive to catch sight of that person once again.. Because once you lost yourself, you have two choices: Find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely.

Because sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been. And remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be.. The person you are.