new year, new you..

Looking at the mirror now, makes me see how much I've changed over the past year. I see myself anew, a shadow of what once was. I see triumphs and accomplishments. But I also see regrets and mistakes.. Decisions, If hadn't made, I wouldn't be the person I am now.

09 was an eventful year. Filled with unexpected twists & ironies. But most especially for our age group, debuts.. They have been a tradition in the Philippines, whenever a girl turns 18, a big party is thrown (technically) for the parents to introduce their daughter into the social society. But for the youth today, a good reason to suit up, shop, and party.

This year has also been tough, trials & challenges I faced, took their toll but I made it through. Making me a stronger person, able to face the stale reality of life. I learned a great deal, not just about myself,but also with the people around me and in so, having a more existential grasp over life.

09 was not without tragedies. The typhoons that ravaged the Philippine populace.. Homes were destroyed & lives taken. So much loss, pain was asunder. But like a phoenix rise upon the ashes, the Philippines united with clasped hands and helped in the relief effort for our countrymen. Then there was the death of the beloved president Cory Aquino. An inspiring leader, who in her time fought for democracy. The country once again united in mourning and feel for the Aquino family's lost and missed yearning for.. a mother's love.

The year was all about trials & challenges, what matters is not the outcome but how we handle 'em, ourselves & the climb. Everything happens for a reason, I believe that.. For what really important is that we emerge neither win nor lose, but that the lessons we learn afterward, and the experience, help us be a much better person.

2010 holds so much promise. But no matter how much we put ourselves into writing new year resolutions, it would all mean nothing if we wouldn't act ourselves upon 'em. A new year, a new start, a new you..

reD gaTe..

Since I've been a kid, I'm not only forced to take music lessons by my music teach at school but also my mom. But to my great regret now, I ditched all of them. Piano, Drums, and voice..

So you know that I'm musically inclined. Or at least by blood now, runs in the family. A brother and his wife are both music professors at the UP college of music, and my mother's really a good singer.

So now, I only linger with the thought that "I could've been" this really cool and awesome musician by now. Garsh. Well, we couldn't change the past now but only make a better future.

I've always been told that I have a good voice. period. Only potential. But With raw & untrained talent alone, is insufficient. So professional musician, crossed out.

Lately I've been into the recording business. A new dream spured. Red gate records. A dream of starting my own record label. I may not be a good musician now, but I still do love music. I can start a new path in helping others develop their talent and produce their music into the world for people to listen, enjoy, and help make a difference in their lives.

So why red gate you may ask, because ours is one. Quite meaningful for me, back then when I was this scrawny and rebellious kid from puberty's past. I've always been kept behind that gate for years and I only had my music to keep me company. Now I am grown up and able ,both physically and by right to either go in and out of that red gate.

Maybe I can takeover my brother's music studio someday, or better yet.. Start from scratch and build a better one. In our lives, there are risks we just gotta take. For in a world so full of potential and uncertainty, we all just gotta step up and take a chance.

Fireflies..

As he was about to emerge from his peaceful slumber, he can hear "fireflies" by owl city playing over the radio. He started to yawn and rubb his eyes. It was barely 6o'clock am and it was still dark out. He started to sit up, then his eyes widened..

He saw a single speck glowing in mid air. whoa, he thought. "One, two three.." Three glowing dots. "wait, no." They were now hovering around his room. "Fireflies." He said in admiration.

He sat there mystified as the chorus of the song played. I like to make myself believe, that planet earth turns slowly.. He continued to watch the fireflies dance around his room. He felt quite transcendent. That morning was most magical.

~ Tried to write like the way I used to do back in the multiply-blogging days. haha. Only to make me realize how mind whacking and slothful it can get.

Wish List..

16 days to go.. So you better go find the time in the world to get me a gift. haha. I usually don't do this, making lists and all. Cause I don't want to assume, just ends up as a disappointment. But this year I've got a feeling, so why not.. there's no harm in trying right.

By the way, I was scrambling on some ol' files.. found this one bad (quality) pic of us from last year's pyro olympics.

To give you an idea, here's a list of what to give me for the occasion. Consisting of what I need and what I want. cherio..


1. my beloved w850i gets fixed and functional once more..

2. any sony ericsson phone.

3. tickets to Cats the musical.. what? I'm into musicals..

4. VIP passes for the paramore-live-in-manila show.. hell yeah!

5. All the soundtrack albums of One tree Hill!

6. new headphones ^_^

7. the bro code.. the book not a pdf file.. it would be awesome to have one.. >_<

8. a really loud alarm clock. duh

9. a comically large cereal box of fruit loops. :p

10. gallons of red paint. gotta push through with my bedroom-repainting plans sometime..


You know what to get me. Now drop by at your favorite outlet mall, and grab me something.. :)

reverTigo..

Oh it's actually a pretty common thing. When you're around someone from your past, you kind of REVERT back to who you were when you knew them..


Back in the day, I was the kind of guy who would sit at the back of the class and listen to my music and just sketch all day long. You can say anti-social, but pretty much just that rebellious emo and tortured artist. Kinda radical, goes about his own way.

Then maturity kicks in. I grew out of that shell, and started to be more out going, do crazy out of the norm kinda stuff and became a party person. Ironies of my life.

And so every time I'm with my childhood pals and high school batchmates, sometimes I just can't help but be who I was then. It's like an involuntary reflex, it just happens.

We're not the same person as we are in high school and sometimes, it turns out for the best.

possibility..

Ever since I've been home bound & phoneless, things have been a little slow in my life.. No more morning rush, evening drinks, nor nightly getaways that much.. Relying on online networks to get in touch. Only hurting to realize, how much I've been missing out.

Sunday..





Monday..





Tuesday..





Wednesday..





Thursday..

I just wanna emphasize how slow and boring, time can get for me these days.. December again, hopefully things will start to lighten up.

S -you seek a- DAY..

The Day that normally humans celebrate that I learned to not enjoy and endure like I'm suffocating, has finally come.

My birthday. ugh. I never enjoyed the sound of it.

I woke up at 5:00 in the morning, sky's still dark and the air is chilly. I love it that way. Dark, quiet, and cold. After I took a shower, I quickly dressed up and started walking to the highway. I awaited for a cab, then one by one I picked up my friends from their houses and we all went to eastwood for breakfast club.

After the enjoying the cold & breezy weather over breakfast & beer at eastwood, we took off and went to katipunan to play my favorite: rockband. For lunch we went to redbox, trinoma. Then we went bar hopping as the sun set.

As we were indulging ourselves in drunken revelry, everything went hazy.. and my eyesight dimmed.

Then I Awoke.

EXPECTATION.

I knew it. It's impossible to have this perfect.. dream at the day I dreaded. (or atleast I dreamt of how I spent my christmas season last year with my friends)

REALITY:

I spent the eve of the we-shall-not-mention day alone in my house, dark,stale,quiet, just the way I like it.. watching How I Met Your Mother. I took it as a symbolism (I wish) that I will live the next years of my life, as awesome as the characters in the show.

I was planning to spend the day hanging out my friends. But then again, it's a school day so none of them are available.

So my aunt took the initiative to take me out for dinner. Ofcourse, everything's set and all. But it's more of for my aunt, than for me. So I didn't enjoy myself really. Though I guess I have to be thankful for the fact they heard my plea of eating at an Italian resto.(my fave) So somehow my day has an upside.

Obviously, the date just went like a formality for the fam to get out and dine.
well you could guess my day mostly SUcks. you get the point.

So I just ended up running away. Ditched 'em and rode a cab to nowhere.

Well eventually, I ended up in somewhere. Treated myself with a drink, hangout and went music shopping. I enjoyed myself that way. Though I really wished I could've spent this supposedly special day with those I love.
----------------------------------------------------
END of the most pathetic day I had in months.

Guess I wrote this out of spite.. I should have known better. IT'S LIFE.

Well, there's a lot to look forward to now. The next couple of days will be awesome.

Now, I'm making myself busy with organizing my music, looking for something new out there, and collaborating with some of my contacts in the local music industry.

I'm applying for an internship for this record label, so we'll see.

And as of the moment, I'm putting up a compilation album for the holiday season. (but that's our own little secret)

well.. what the world needs right now is sunshine and optimism. so that's what I'm trying out., for a change.. Cherio!

defying gravity..

Secrets.. we all have 'em.

We keep such secrets because we don't don't want to hurt people, we're too embarrassed to admit it, or we just simply want to due to the fact you're not that comfortable with that particular person.

Bet you're accustomed to the cliche' saying: "what you don't know, won't hurt you." True enough, but it only makes us itch to know what the secret is more..

These past couple of weeks I've been nagging on some pals to be more open, but in a very hypocritical turn. I myself have one too many things I never tell 'em.

So until quite recently, I've been trying to go out of my usual shell of self-centeredness and try to fluster myself with optimism. And slowly, I am telling 'em one by one things that I'm not actually proud nor comfortable to talk about.

All I wanted was for us to be good enough friends so that we can talk about stuff, you know. Even if it's ugly.. especially then.

So now I'm starting to defy the norm gravity of my abyss-like personality, just take that chance, and jump off the edge.

______________________________________________

To take a turn, off things..

I can say New Moon is.. AWE (wait for it) SOME. awesome.

For someone who read the books and watched Twilight, the second installment of the saga is pretty much loyal to the book. With just little changes made. So bravo on that account, and brava on the direction, quite better than the first one.

So having said the stuff above, it made watching the film quite predictable (of course) leaving only the curiosity factor. Which you wonder, how the film would be like (having read the books).

I think what I did last year with Twilight is better. I watched the film before reading the book. So that made me enjoy the film more without the disappointment. Then after reading the book, I watched it again. So thus filling me on the parts where I got clueless. I enjoyed the film nonetheless.

For those who haven't read the book, (or atleast the vast majority) their initial reaction to the film: "boring" coz they don't understand what's going on.

And one major downside with it all.. is the Jacob epidemic. Really, anywhere I turn they all go like "Jacob is this, Jacob is that".. They're all like a broken record out there. Annoying ring on the ear.

So anyway, the third installment: Eclipse.. Would be something we could all look forward to.

Along Came Bella..

A year ago, a friend of mine who raises and sells bunnies saw my enthusiasm for 'em so she gave me one for Christmas. A perfect white and fluffy little cutie.. and since exactly a year ago just like this year, the twilight vibe is really buzzing around. So I named her Bella. As if by fate, she fitted in the group just perfectly. She hopped around school, got along well with everyone and we all had a good time when she's around. Probably what I miss most about her: every morning when my alarm would fail to wake me up for class, (as if she actually knows my sched) every time that happens, she finds her way into my room & hops into my belly. And every sunday, when I would take her outside in the garden, let her pick out leaves she wants to eat & just hop around. Then one unfortunate day, she just passed away.. Bless her spirit.

( a moment of silence)


Speaking of Bella, as in Isabella Swan who is played by Kristen Stewart who I think is really awesome. Came out in public in a gala somewhere in europe (I think) looking like (see pic above) what critics says as a "Bizarre look" in a badly mix matched get-up. Which I think is really cool, she pulled it off.

~ catch the screening of New Moon on the 20th!

Wicked Wicca

Astrology never cease to amaze me.. How accurate it can get and all in predicting, more like describing how our day goes or how we feel or even our recent debacle in life.

It just gets to me, you know. How something you expect to be cryptic turns out to be something real. Quite amusing actually. Here's something recent, and so reeal:

""You aren't in the mood to talk about your feelings to just anyone today with the Moon joining authentic Saturn in your 12th House of Secrecy. But your need for privacy doesn't include your best friend or lover, for you crave a real emotional connection that can break through your current isolation. Keep in mind that the walls between you and others are created by mutual consent, so open your heart to include those with whom you want to share your life.""

Hating all these twist in my story.

Anyways, it's friday the 13th again.. According to recent studies, more accidents or misfortunes occur in this particular day. Experts says "it is so, because people thinks so." Meaning, it's just all about mind over matter.(obviously I'm not up for long discussions at the moment)

Charms, goodluck, badluck, karma.. the works. All of us have our own superstition.

LiFe..

If you haven't heard of this one before, I wanna put it this way.. I say life is like a train, it goes to places in a straight forward direction. But you only get one ticket for the ride. So the cliche' fact here is: you only get to have once chance in your life. Go figure..

Sidetrack. Speaking of trains, my favorite train station in the world ( so far) is Grand Central Station and when I get the chance to hang at new york in the really far far.. far away future, it would really be awesome to just catch the train there and I dunno go down to the last pit stop.

Now as I reach my sixteenth station(okay maybe a couple more than that), I had to switch trains. From a luxurious and futuristic ride to a rusty and foggy one. I know sometimes I get too enigmatic, so there came a time when I promised myself that I would tell my friends my struggles of late. And I keep hoping that time would come soon.

And now reality (more like life) is catching up to me. My aunt's calling on to me, maybe to get me an internship at the family business(real estate I think). Which for me sucks, coz the one thing I hate more than my laptop crashing is working with family. I really don't know how to put it in a more reasonable & convincing state, I just don't. Though I would make an exception if it would be in my uncle's law firm, which would be really awesome.

Before I go face all of it, I'm spending the last week of my sneaking-around-illegality carefree. I just wish I can go ride a train and runaway from all of it. Then again, I guess we just can't run from reality that long. Eventually everything we ran from, catches up to us.

dazeD..

The official track list of the soundtrack for New Moon has been released, and it is an absolutely doozy! This is quite possibly the soundtrack of the year.

Even those who thumb their nose up at the Twilight phenomenon are going to be checking this one out. Critical darlings Grizzly Bear, Radiohead legend Thom Yorke, rockers The Killers and Muse are just some of the treats awaiting the phenomenon of a soundtrack. Here’s the full list–

• 1. Death Cab For Cutie – “Meet Me On The Equinox”

• 2. Band Of Skulls – “Friends”

• 3. Thom Yorke – “Hearing Damage”

• 4. Lykke Li – “Possibility”

• 5. The Killers – “A White Demon Love Song”

• 6. Anya Marina – “Satellite Heart”

• 7. Muse – “I Belong To You (New Moon)”

• 8. Bon Iver and St. Vincent – “Roslyn”

• 9. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club – “Done All Wrong”\

• 10. Hurricane Bells – “Monsters”

• 11. Sea Wolf – “The Violet Hour”

• 12. OK Go – “Shooting The Moon”

• 13. Grizzly Bear – “Slow Life”

• 14. Editors – “No Sound But The Wind”

• 15. Alexandre Desplat – “New Moon (The Meadow)”

Just like the first record, I've been really digging this one too. Listening to it non stop at the moment. To compliment the great music, been reading some great novels with it. Music and literature can be a really great combination if you know the right stuff.

A really awesome way to just get away, you know. Just blind out the white noise of life and jump to this whole new dimension.

empTy aparTmenT..

I remember the time when I'm always enthusiastic about redecorating my room. When I see a cool poster or picture to hang up, or thought of a new quote to engrave, or a new idea what to draw.. I always find the right spot in my room to place it.

But that was highschool. I always knew who I am and what I want back then.

At first I was pretty much like any normal guy who wouldn't care much for his room and never spent one minute longer inside other than to dress up. But one very boring day, I sat in my room.. and I had an epiphany: "I should make this room.. my room." So I ran to the hardware store, grabbed some paint and brushes.

Since then I always make it an agenda every month to redecorate.. Changed the furniture setting, Hung up new pictures, Draw some new stuff, and even change the paint job. By doing so, helps me remind myself who I am and how I live my life.

Now, as I attempt to redecorate. I removed all the furniture, sat in my bed and stare at the artistic emo walls. Inside that empty room, I have no idea what to do next. I couldn't even call it my room anymore. It became an apartment, an empty apartment.. For the past months that's what it has been.

I have lost sight of who I am and what I wanted.

Brush in hand, I strive to catch sight of that person once again.. Because once you lost yourself, you have two choices: Find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely.

Because sometimes, you have to step outside of the person you've been. And remember the person you were meant to be. The person you wanted to be.. The person you are.

OctoberFest..

We know as the world famous festival in munich, germany.. Where tens of thousand barrels of beer are served to guest who overestimate their ability to handle large amounts of alcohol. Everyone finds it as a good excuse to party and have fun. Here in the Philippines, we also celebrate such festivities. Yearly, the major brands of alcoholic beverages sponsor parties and drinking events to promote their said product and camaraderie among party people as well.

I am one of such people. This month, I find myself stretching myself too thin with all of the parties left & right that I'm invited to. What I did, I prioritized. (Which I had a very hard time to accomplish) I only went to the benefit parties. (not the usual norm party, but the ones whose beneficiaries are the victims of typhoons) So all of that kinda worked out well. We partied, enjoyed ourselves and at the same time helping (in our own way) the typhoon victims.

No offense to my party clique, I enjoy their company but I miss going out with my childhood friends. As I spend more time at home, I anticipate their presence and hopes we could plan a get together soon. Unfortunately not that soon, some are MIA (missing in action) and others are off with their families in their respected provinces. Now phoneless, I'm kinda socially-handicapped. I only have my online social networks and ym to rely to when receiving invites and news of my friends.

To cap off the month, we went to a Halloween Ball. It was awesome. We crashed with top to torn attire and the girls with slutty outfits.. (playboy bunnies, etc.) The storm didn't stop us, it actually helped us sober up after the party. Chelsy had the idea when she got wet outside. She started pulling us in the rain. (pardon me, I don't remember much of the details) Somehow we all ended up dancing in the rain. haha. That night was.. Legendary. So to speak.

Only wish that when I'm with my childhood friends, we could be as spontaneous.. Lot to look forward to this November. One of which is what-I-will-not-mention on the 17th, go figure haha.

ChaRmed..

COUNTDOWN TO THE nEW mOON
-----------
@ Ascend Super Club, Bonifacio High street..
Oct. 30,2009.

Halloween.. the evening of October 31st, the eve of All Saints' Day; All Hallows Eve: observed especially by children in costumes who solicit treats, often by threatening minor pranks. But in modern times, one doesn't have to be a kid to wear a scary mask or a fluffy (maybe slutty) costume on to party. Also a day more commonly known for witches, vampires, mean looking pumpkins, and a variety of monstrous creatures.

Speaking of witches. for three years going.. It has been my tradition to watch the series: Charmed, every Halloween. It's a tv show way way back. About 3 sisters who, apparently are witches. Started back in the 90's which ended with 8 seasons. Story goes like how the sisters shuffle their life of magic and battle against demons with maintaining their normal lives. Pretty awesome really. That goes for Alyssa Milano too, who plays the youngest sister: Phoebe.

This Halloween, I was counting on a beach party. But no thanks to my a-wol party pals who mostly went abroad for spring break and some just busy of sorts.. Had to improvise. Guess (as seen above) will do. Really looking forward to having an awesome time before classes resume.

Improvise..

When faced with an unexpected debacle.. A pop quiz, last minute speech or presentation.. Meeting a rival, enemy or having an awkward moment with a person on the road. Unlike some people who walk away nor the people who would spend a whole lot of time thinking what to do.. I usually improvise. A spur of the moment act without previous preparation or acting upon extemporaneously.

But when you say improvise, it’s been more of a work ethic for me than an only on the spot thing. Give high school for example, had smooth sailing. Never really remember a time when I studied or prepared for an exam, presentation & project days before the due date. Challenging but fun. I had a different sense of high every time I would do projects just hours before passing it, then ending up with a higher grade than my classmates who took their time. It was quite fulfilling.

That improvise attitude made me a laid-back, happy go lucky, sort-of rebel, kind of person growing up. The peak of my rebelliousness was junior & senior year, quite memorable. I would usually talk back & defy my teachers, especially in math. I would talk negatively about his activities, openly talk back in front of the class, & every time he would make me miss an exam: I would just draw, talk with my seatmates & make a ruckus while everyone is taking the exam. Bottom line: after all of that, got away with it. With the teach giving me quite a grade and passing the subject.

Last year of high school was fun. Senior year, I had loads of tardy days. I would usually make quite an entrance during the middle of class, late. When late during morning assembly, the prefect would usually make us run or doing some stuff out on the public: like sprints, jumping rope, etc. What a fun-filled experience to end high school. Lawless like an outlaw.

Usually I got away with all of it with the teachers & prefects because I cultivated my ability to be a smooth talker (As my English teach said, I am a good bluffer) I am able to IMPROVISE a good excuse, explaining myself quite spectacularly, bluffing myself out of the situation.

Years later, improvising is still a thing. Got me out of some tangled situations. When meeting people on the road, dating..(rejection is not quite accepted by most of ‘em) so bluffed myself out before things got icky.

Stuck? So Improvise.

Give Love a Try..

“Three words, eight letters, say it and I am yours.” Everyone has their own definition, in every sense of the word. For me: “Let’s just forget thinking and follow our hearts. “

The first time I indulged myself in agreeing to a date with a girl crushing on me was in 5^th grade. I remember the innocence and reluctance in the air. Lunch dates, just kids hanging out. The only girl I was really into back then was this cute girl who has an amazing voice & a great singer. Because I enjoyed our friendship so much that I didn’t want to mess it up, I didn’t mention anything about how I feel. Unfortunately for high school I had to transfer, so we part ways.

In high school, nobody really came closer to my heart than her. But there were a few who came knocking. One though was almost there, she was also a singer. (What’s up with me & musicians?) Clip notes version: We connected through music. We played & sung a few duets. Maybe was a little into each other. But guy was a clueless jerk, so girl moved on. In the end, they just became friends with a bit of awkwardness. Then the rest of high school was just a couple of dates with nobody special.

Years after grade school, I accidentally ran into my childhood sweetheart in an ice cream shop my friends & I hangout. We we’re both like “Whoa. Hey.” Then a warm embrace. It’s like as if we never parted. Emotions I thought long forgotten, returned that very moment.

Ever since I saw her then, I couldn’t get this song out of my head:

“You, like driving on a Sunday..

You, like taking off on Monday..

You..

You’re like a dream, dream come true..

I.. just a face you never notice.

And I.. just trying to be honest with myself.

With you..

With the world.

You might think that I am a fool for falling over you.

So tell me what can I do to prove to you that it’s not so hard to do.

Give love a try, one more time..

Cause you know that I’m on your side.

Give love a try, one more time..”

Then I just got all mopey when I saw her shout out, pics & status, that she already got a boyfriend.. I should have known. Someone as special as her, of course. Now I know she had moved on, guess about time I should too. But she'll always have a special place here in my heart.

Now back to regular dating, nothing special.. Hoping to meet a great person waiting out there, taking a break from friends with benefit..

Vocal Adrenaline..

Adrenaline rush. It’s very common you could Google it. Figuratively, the term adrenaline is used in speaking of a high state of excitement: “When the race began, the adrenaline really started pumping.” Physically & psychologically... but vocally?

There have been countless of times when out of nowhere I just sung out loud. Weirdest one yet: One really good morning, Sun is shining bright & birds a chirping... I awoke from a peaceful slumber, and then suddenly I just sung “It’s my life... It’s now or never. I ain’t gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I’m alive. ” as I sit up the bed. Then when I sobered up, “whoa. What was that?”

One time when a friend got busted and he would just continuously apologize with his ex and fail in his attempts to make up. I was all like “You look so dumb right now... And the award for the best liar goes to you.” and we all went laughing that one out.

I was asking out a pretty cool though goodie goodie girl for an afternoon drink. In the process of persuading her: “Just one night couldn’t be so wrong... You make me want to lose control.” Then when she said yes, I went back to my friends tuning gallantly “I make ‘em good girls go bad..” That day was LEGEN... (Wait for it) DARY!

The night we we’re planning for a surprise debut, we were asked to do a song number. As I walk the dark road home, it hit me. Alone in that long quiet road, I started singing: “Say it again for me.. coz I love the way it feels when you are telling me that I’m the only one who blows your mind. Say it again..” Unfortunately they don’t share my sympathy for the song so they went with another.

When I usually get psyched I would go invite my friends to go play Rockband and we’ll all have an awesome time. Playing it, you don’t just need to hit/press the right keys but you also have a good ear for the music. I get a really peculiar sense of high when I do the vocals. It’s like we’re drowning in our awesomeness.. haha, so to speak.

So if adrenaline for others is getting pumped up physically, for nerds getting all worked out for an exam, and for Bella hallucinating about Edward.. Guess mine’s busting into song. Music is something that can unite people of different cliques & genres. A fellow enthusiast once said: “I love singing so much; I don’t see why I have to stop just because I’m bad at it.” I’m proud of her, that’s a really great attitude. “Share your passion with the world.”

“But maybe not with the WHOLE world”, she said. xp

What's in the name..

Jonas.. It has been my name for as long as I can remember. It's what my parents gave me.. (more like labelled) for the past 16-something years. It has brought me perks and disadvantages.

Every time I meet some people on the road, in a party, or in a club.. “Hi. I am Jonas.” They would usually go like: “Wow. Really? Jonas Brother!” It attracts unwanted attention, and sometimes it gets troublesome. At first I was not cool with it, but as time pass by I got used to it. I can count the people in my hand that didn’t saw me that way in their 1^st impression. It can be an icebreaker or cool points when introducing myself.

I got really annoyed quite recently with the fact that I share my name with other people. My friends would go tell me: “Wow. I met someone in my school, his name is Jonas too,” I accounted similar encounters like 2-3 times. I would just joke: “This town has one too many Jonases..”. And freshmen year, I got to know a batch mate who’s a Jonas too. So the whole school had labelled us as the Jonas Brothers. Sometimes people see me as the much cooler one and top out better than the other because he’s gullible and geekier. And I would get to tease him for it. Besides Jonas is my one and only name while he got Jonas as a second name.

Years ago my Mother started one of the very first Drugstores in Taytay, Rizal.. So it got well-known and the people who ran it (with yours truly). Fun fact is, until today when I walk around town may it be day or night people still recognize me. “Hi. You’re Jonas right? The kid from Guadalupe Pharmacy? Wow.. You’re all grown up.”

One major disadvantage is with the face that goes with it. A lot of people say that my face is quite recognizable. Though I don’t know if it’s a good thing or not but mostly I take it as a compliment. Thus result; I am walking in a cool afternoon in the city. Some people would go up to me and say: “Oh. Hi Jonas. Fancy seeing you here.” I would panic for a sec, I don’t remember the person’s name. So I usually go with acknowledging him or her with a nod and a simple “Hey.” Then go about my business. Perk, it’s more of a 5-minute fame and get to know a lot of real people. Disadvantage, when I screw up they would tend to remember and spread it like wild fire. The last time a gossip bomb dropped, it was not a pretty sight.

The name bears the weight of the lyrics: “Live to party blah blah blah”. Usually I am that guy, but sometimes I am not. It’s hard to live up to society’s expectations. Acting up to what people think who you are. Sometimes you would just get caught up in it that you yourself would wonder: “Who am I gonna be?” I love the advantages of my best of both world thing going on, but sometimes it’s exhausting and hardest is the currency: As I gain new friendships, I also lose some old ones.

“Embrace your awesomeness.” My very compelling optimist of a friend used to say to me. We we’re on an open mic night, so we went for it. We just sung and for me were quite trembling to be there on stage in front of people. But afterwards, wow.. The audience’s applause was satisfying and inspiring. Just want to make me remember my childhood dream. (Be in a cool band and change the world thingy). All I know is: Music is in my soul, I can hear it everyday, every night.. It’s the one thing n my mind. I just want to play my music.

~ Yeap. From the looks of this (whatever you will call this thing I’ve been typing down) my head is a mess and my thoughts are disarranged. Right now been figuring out things, figuring out life. And trying to get there you know. (where you may ask) I’ll tell you when I get there..