Loner with a highly evolved defense mechanism..

My rules for survival are simple. Don't stand out, never raise your hand in class and no drama.

you know how people say that 1st impressions are important? well I guess I'm not really one of them until I hear what other people think of me when they 1st met me. people perceive me as pretty bad ass, a rocker, that I might have been a member of a punk rockband, an emo. That I give off this kind of resonating aura. Well I asked this girl I liked and she said "smart, good looking, englisero." Ofcourse when asking people close to you they would only say the good qualities and skip out on the downside. Then last night some pals told me that our classmates were afraid of me. so I was like "whut?". Apparently some of 'em find me unapproachable, so serious all the time that they would think twice before talking to me under pain of physical violence. lol. well personally I think it's kinda cool but I guess in the long run it'll be a bummer. maybe I should work on that and break some of my own rules for a change.

Blissful days ended to start again..

So here's what you missed these last few days on me..

sports fest, a 3 day affair. no classes but we're still required to meet with our professors for attendance. pretty much sucky and boring since I didn't join any games and our department doesn't really have one of those solid support system called cheer leading. But enjoyed bonding with new pals over karaoke, swim plans and booze.

nightlife, still awesome. meeting up with call center friends for midnight snacks / yosi break. more like for them. lol. strolling the highway on fast-paced motorbikes. oh and I witnessed another accident. I was crossing the street when this 10 wheeler truck literally fell over in front of me. It was like 3 o'clock in the morning and it was dead silent. I think it took me like 5 mins to process what just happened then joined the gathering crowd to see if the driver is alright. Surreal enough, it was in moments like those that I somehow feel alive you know. not that I enjoy seeing people suffer, it's just a lingering reminder that life is short. we gotta "Live like we're dying!" (music)

just another awesome weekend ahead. t'morrow classes resume and I just got swim class in the morning.. then party night. gonna meet with new pals and brood over awesome music and a beer tower. Sunday, got brunch with the family then hopefully go hang at my Alma mater with old friends.

~if only I have a camera to document and share my life experiences.. >_<

Literested...

my all time favorite subject.. English. wherever school I am at, it's like my thing. I'm a speaker, you know I'm actually good at spontaneous public speaking. But I can't say the same when it comes to writing. >_<

Today we had this assignment.. we were asked to bring 20 assorted pics (with ourselves included in 'em of course) and write this paper: our life ladder. basically an outline of the stuff we've been through since we were born. literally, so we all had trouble trying to remember what we were up to when we were like what 2,3 years old and onwards. Then we placed it all in an envelope along with our contact details. We were asked to form a circle, then counter clock wise we passed our envelopes along. When the counting stopped, the owner of the envelope that lands in our hands would be the subject of our next paper. So basically, using the stuff inside (life ladder, pics) we're gonna write a biography of that particular classmate. Personally I find the activity awesome. But on second thought, it'll be tough. I'm acquainted with the one I got but on a personal level I dunno the person one bit. Then again, I guess that's the whole point. To get to know that person. good thing the one who got mine is a girl, it'll be weird if another dude started staring on my pics and stalk me on the net. lol. So anyway using the vague details I better start conceptualizing how to do this thing.. 15 pages!

Oh and yeah, it's our sports fest this week. I didn't want to make a fool out of myself so I didn't try-out for any sport. >_< I'm not really knowledgeable nor experienced when it comes to sports, that's why I just play for fun.

Fail Sunday...

well let's see,, for three consecutive days basically the weekend, gigs are all fail. friday, I was suppose to meet my pals for a party in commonwealth = fail. saturday, I had swim class in the morning. awesome. took time to drip and stretch. afternoon had a tour guiding seminar. was suppose to meet my pals for a drink = fail. well sorta. only one came through which is well okay, had pizza and beer. came sunday morning, bit hungover on coffee. burned some movies I downloaded then watched with the family.. went to this lot we own at burol,taytay to check it out and had a family picnic. I was hopping to jog with pals = but fail. as usual no reply from the kids. well I guess being optimistic has its limits. all of this gig-advocacy thing I had going on is giving me a headache. >_<

what a stressful weekend.

love DRUNK!

literally. saturday night as usual, is party night with pals. I went out to the local bar and met up with my pals from campus. everything is going smooth, ambience, beer, cool music.. all is well until this girl I like, as in really-like brought her new "guy". So ofcourse I played it cool but inside I was basically messed up. All I was sure of that night, I wanna binge drink. Next thing I new, I was high* and already drunk texting people. Which was a first time for me, I guess I vented out even though I didnt realize what I was doing. As every night should end, I walked home drunk...

Next thing I realized, I was in my room talking to a friend on the phone. funny, I dont even remember talking or calling anyone. Then darkness..

I woke up a couple of hours later hungover, which is just right because I have to go to school for nstp(on a sunday who does that?) so I mustered all my strength and took in all hungover remedies known to man. >_< Realizing what I have been texting to people last night, a sudden rush of shame engulfed me. I hoped no one remember anything too.

I spent the rest of the day at marikina, I sprinted at the park, hangout at starbucks & just enjoyed the cool weather hoping I wont run into anyone I knew and.. maybe to forget what I felt.

WHAT IF...

This morning I got a text message from a friend, a very enticing proposition for a summer getaway. But like every trip, it needs a suitable amount to finance and without a steady income I highly doubt I could accumulate such an amount in 3 months. That really bums me out, this might be the 1^st time I’d miss out on a summer trip with friends. I’m not really a thinker you know, I mean the kind of person who would plan ahead instead I would go all like “I’ll just cross that bridge when I get there.” Like the summer of 2010, we had an out of town trip and I needed cash. I didn’t stress over it so the day before departure I literally had to beg my brother for cash so I can go. I guess he just gave me some because that was the 1^st time I ever asked him for anything and that was the time when I was cooped up at home for months so I guess he understood my need to getaway and unwind. But I doubt I could do so again for this summer. I’ll have to figure it out... and soon.

INVESTMENT...

The previous year, I survived with my social life intact using this old battered china phone that I got from an aunt. Some buttons are already missing, the battery is faulty, had dysfunctional speakers and a damaged LCD. It was pretty much a pain especially when I have to contact my friends on a gig. Until a couple of days ago, in the middle of a very important phone call it just gave out and literally fell apart. The obvious and logical option left was to get a new one.

Counting my expenses the past New Year parties and from a couple of wreck less shopping there is very little left of my Christmas earnings. Maybe I can’t afford a cool camera phone but I had enough to get a functional one which is good enough for me as long as I can call and text people.

As I charged the nearby retailer, I was counting on the cheapest one out on the market which is a model from Cherry Mobile but unfortunately they were out of stock. So I had to go with the next one which costs more than my allotted budget but still within my price range… this pretty cool, slim, sleek (and it’s black!) Samsung Cell.

Even though I’m flat broke (so what else is new) again, it was worth it. That evening I was heading out to meet a couple of pals and for a change it was pretty convenient to communicate with them compared with the one I used before. I feel better connected than ever. A new year, a new cell, that’s what I can call a good investment.

What I will NOT not do this 2011...

I guess its never to late for a "Happy New Year!"

Well, you know how people at the start of the new year make all sorts of lists.. wishlist, bucket list, particularly lists that pertain to things that one wants to change with one's self. Me, I was not really a believer of writing down one on a piece of paper when I was younger (or in our generation's case, to type it down) but I guess change can be good, for the better so let me write one right now. >_<

~WALK OF SHAMEs.
you know what I'm talking about, no more sneaking out of somebody's room after spending the night... playing. lol.

~BUFF up.
let's face it, I'm not getting any younger. I should start to take care of myself. well I've already tried jogging every morning, playing sports in a weekly basis, maybe I'll just keep to to that routine and start being more health conscious. Goodbye scrawny emo kid from highschool.

~DRUNKOREXIA
well college is a phase where everyone get to experience, experiment and basically have fun. back then my friends and I party everyday (and sorta still today.) lol. the point is, having nothing to eat all day then drink all night. In all reality not healthy for my body.

~RELATIONSHIP status
I guess I'm just at that point of my life where hook-ups, casual flings, and friends with benefit does not suit me anymore. I wanna have someone to talk to, share my feelings with and share awesome day to night experiences. so Offficially I'm putting myself on the market and change that single status.

So I guess that's just about it.. for now. I wont be one of those people who put up long lists but never get to accomplish them. I'll start with these and hopefully when I look back I can say "Hey! I got to stick with my resolutions this year!" Mine's not really a walk in the park, but if I start now one step at a time I just might get lucky at the last one.. ;)